In Her Own Time

I know the value of following a child's interests. I've witnessed it, the full engagement, curiosity, hypothesis building and rebuilding, cognitive restructuring...yada, yada yada. But that doesn't mean it's always easy; afterall, adults have interests too! I'd been wanting to make birdfeeders since...October? Not Addi. I set up the invitation (twice) and she ignored it. She wasn't interested, or maybe she wasn't ready or she didn't feel connected to the idea. It doesn't really matter. She didn't want to make bird feeders. So we continued to explore her interests...of which there are always plenty. We painted, played hide-and-seek, painted some more, and one day she asked for water beads. As nature would have it, the bowl we left outside the previous day filled with rainwater and had a thick layer of ice on top; Addi decided it would be a perfect place for the beads to "grow."  Later she checked on them and discovered the ice was gone, which led to a discussion on the different properties of water and several trips to the freezer for ice cubes, which we watched melt in the sun. I love watching how she thinks and problem solves and develops her own hypotheses.



Yes, you can smell the water beads

 And then one day (several MONTHS later) it happened..."mom, the birds are eating worms. Hey, can we make bird feeders?" YES! I grabbed my camera ready to document the project, and then she said, "Mom, can you not take pictures, please?" Clearly she had enough picture taking and wanted my undivided attention. Sure.

Because she made birdfeeders at her preschool's Winter Festival she knew the "how to" basics. We went outside to gather pinecones, discussing their different sizes, shapes, and prickly properties: "Ouch! Mom, can you pick them up when I find them?" Sure. "Or how about we use gloves?" That sounds like an idea worth trying.

Then we went back inside where we poured, measured, squished, and ran our fingers through everything while building our birdfeeders. I am not exagerating when I say we spent over an hour exploring and talking about how everything felt, smelled and looked; their differences and similarities, what we liked and disliked about everything, and why, why why ("do you have any ideas, Addi?"). We made a gigantic mess and decided not to clean it up until after we sprinted outside to find the perfect place to hang them...and right before we went outside she said, "you can take some pictures now if you want." Ahhh, thanks little pumpkin spice!

How's this face, mom? Perfect.

We scoped out the trees in our backyard to hang our 9 birdfeeders. Eye level seemed just right!

Yes you can be sure it's hanging securely

I love making and hanging birdfeeders! The mess? Well, it waited until after snack, reading books, bedtime, and until she woke up the next day ready for another action-packed day...after breakfast, that is. Clean-up, like making birdfeeders, was also done in her own time.

Note: I have to admit, sometimes I'm more flexible than other times. Yet I always find that the more flexible I am, the better I am able to connect more deeply with my daughter, which means fewer power struggles & frustrations, and more fun & laughter; and sometimes even better sleep for us all. Of course, it's always easier to feel more flexible when my own curiosities and interests are also satisfied. But when they're not I try to remember it's an opportunity to stretch my mama muscles (coping skills, patience, curiosity about my daughter, etc.).

A Child's Perspective

My daugher LOVES to take pictures. Seriously. Which is one reason I'm incredibly greatful for digital pictures. She has been taking pictures with my camera and phone for years...and she's only 3. Ok, so maybe for 1.5 years. Still. She loves to take pictures.

She usually takes multiple pictures. And sometimes they're quite funny.

Other times they peek my curiosity: What is it she's seeing? What is she thinking? What is she trying to capture?

 


After a recent shopping trip I flipped through the pictures and found these:



 

 

 I was a little taken aback by these; walking away, distracted. I wanted to delete them even though I remember having quite a good time laughing and playing with her on this excursion. But still, it struck me in that odd sort of way certain things do. What does she think when she sees me do this?

I try to remember that viewing life from her perspective not only means seeing the world through her eyes, but also through her experiences and emotions. And in reality I can only see so much, and for everything else I can only be curious; and I am really curious!

 

 

It really struck me: this is how my daughter sees the world and the things around her; it is how she sees me. It seems so obvious, really. But there was something about these pictures that really brought her perspective clearly into my vision...literally. I am in awe of her ability to create in me such a strong sense of self reflection. Going back through my pictures more thoroughly I discovered something I already knew...I love her perspective. I love that I am suddenly more aware of her perspective in a way that is all at once surreal, ethereal, and grounded, all at the same time. A perspective different from my own. I love that she has this wonderful interest in capturing the world as she sees it. And that she wants to share it with me.

How do your children uniquely see the world?

Note: Addi takes a lot of pictures. She's still honing her skills. Lest you think she's a child prodigy, here are some of her other pictures!